Exploring the Koshas

Writing in my journal has been a great part of my self study. I believe there is a difference between a diary and a journal. I used to write in a diary when I was little; I would describe the things that I had done on a daily basis, and what other people had done in my life and how it affected me. In fact, I just looked at the definition on dictionary.com and, according to them, a diary is a “personal record of daily events, appointments, observations, etc.” Most people would say that a journal is the same thing and the two are usually interchanged without question. For me, the intention behind my writing has redefined the word “journal” and what it is to me. My journal is self discovery. I write about not what I did that day, but what my yoga practice churned up for me, or what my meditation session triggered within my memory and my mind.

Exploring my physical and mental tendencies through writing has allowed me to learn about the origins of my personal habits, my thought patterns, my moods and emotions, my negative behavior, and the witness within me. When I write in my journal, I let go of the attachment to my past and my future. I focus on the present moment, and it is very much like free drawing. I have done creative writing that is very similar to what I do on a daily basis. You allow your words to flow from your hand without thinking about what you will write next; you simply write. And you do not judge what you are writing. So my writing has become a sort of journey into a deeper part of myself, or level of consciousness, while my eyes are open. I set my intention to write freely and I write in my journal.

There is a meditation practice called yoga nidra, which basically means deep sleep. Similar to relaxing in savasana at the end of your asana practice, you can lay in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and begin to relax. And this is where the self exploration really takes place on a deep, subconscious level. Koshas, or levels of consciousness, exist within our bodies (Kosha is translated usually as ‘sheath’). In yoga nidra, you travel through each layer.

The five Koshas are complex, but you can get a vague definition of them easily by searching online. Here is how I would describe them:

1. Anamaya Kosha- the physical sheath of our self, including the skin, muscular tissue, bones, internal organs, blood, nerves, hair, etc.

2. Pranamaya Kosha- the breath that flows throughout the physical self, giving the force of life to the body.

3. Manomaya Kosha- the mind of our self, which can either bind us or free us.

4. Vijnanamaya Kosha- the wisdom of our self, it is the intellect that is neither constant nor free from change, and is also limited, which is why it is not the supreme self.

5. Anandamaya Kosha- the bliss that is the true self, which is reached through deep sleep. Bliss is within all of us and is a reflection of the universal truth, beauty and love that connects us all.

Traveling through the Koshas takes a lot of patience and practice. And it also helps to have someone guiding and leading you through a yoga nidra session. I am pretty sure that I fell asleep halfway through my first yoga nidra meditation session. This is very common. It takes a lot of practice to maintain a certain level of awareness even in shorter and more simple meditation practices.

Even though I am not experiencing a deep sleep while I journal, I do experience a meditative and trance-like state as I write.  I let go of the Anamaya Kosha; not focusing on the physical act of writing. My breath, the Pranamaya Kosha brings energy and oxygen into my body, my hands, so that I can write, but I relax the inhales and exhales so that there is no work involved. I set an intention to breathe like I do when I sleep, my most natural and nurturing breath. While I am writing it can be difficult to travel past the Manomaya Kosha. My mind often drives my writing, carrying me away from the page to fantasize about other things. I like to think of my time writing as yoga nidra practice; that I am creating a foundation for a body and mind that is open to meditation. 

I believe one of the best ways to further my self study is through the creative process. Whether I  journal, dance and choreograph, play my ukulele, write poetry, or draw, I am allowing the body and the mind to relax while a deeper part of myself, a deeper kosha, expresses who I am. And I am that witness, who observes the creative process, as well as the creator. Bliss is located deep within me; it is who I really am. And as I create with awareness and intention, I am able to witness bliss as a part of my conscious reality. It is almost as if the Anandamaya Kosha peeks out. And if I am in a deeper state of consciousness I can catch a glimpse of Bliss.